Concerning hobbits

I've been so worried about meeting God for freedom, for a change in my life, for something that will help me stop doing the things I hate doing. I'm still addicted to so much of the sin that I grew up running to before I had ever met Jesus. I'm still failing a lot. And that's bugged the crap out of me. I've been sitting, waiting, hoping that God would love me not for the sake of knowing Him any better but for the sake of behavior change. I've wanted the freedom so I can move about living my life. I've been worrying about the future, all of the things I'm still so afraid of, and really just anything and everything there is to worry about. Its exhausting. But I guess tonight I was hit with the fact that I was missing a much greater opportunity. Freedom will come, I will change, I will be made new, but that's not all. There is so much more, something better that I am confident God wants to offer us. To truly know Him. I was journaling earlier with questions like "how do I even approach you?" "What do I even say to you?" "How do I do this?" "How do I know you?" I'm not really even sure what hanging out with Jesus truly looks like yet, but I think I experienced a glimpse of that tonight. I was reading the Fellowship of the Ring and playing some of my favorite movie soundtrack tunes in the background. "Concerning Hobbits" came on and my immediate reaction was "Hey God, I like this song. It makes me happy." I kind of paused and thought, "well that was cool". I felt like a kiddo. The past few days (at least these past few especially) I've been stuck in frustration, anger, impatience, and loads of other stressful emotions, but tonight I was able to let that go. I was able to trust that God has got all my crap under control, that He just wants to hang out with me, to love me, to know me. It gave me peace. It sure relieved a lot of stress too, not worrying about all the crap I have, because there is a lot. I don't know what this will all look like in the coming days. I still don't really know whats going on, but I'm content to listen to "Concerning Hobbits" with a great book and hang out with God. Come tomorrow I'm sure I'll find something to worry myself over, but I'm excited to truly know Him more. A part of me just knows deep inside there is so much more God has to offer than I give Him credit for. That is comforting.

On a side note: 366 until Gandalf and Bilbo hit the big screen again in the Hobbit. YUH!

No picture today, but...

Watch this and tell me it didn't make you at least a little happy... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAb-fqBrUsY

And watch this and get excited. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0k3kHtyoqc